Shape me! Shape me like you've never shaped me before!

I've been trying to exercise in an effort to lose weight and get in shape for a big upcoming event. I said trying, not actually doing. I realized I needed to do something drastic when I looked at the calendar and the date was just around the corner.

Yesterday, I ran across this.

This sounded fantastic to me! This could make me look thinner and at the same time smooth out all my lines and bulges. This could darn well be the miracle I've been looking for!

I bought it.

I pulled.

I squished.

I grunted...out loud!

I said bad words!

I then screamed for God and ask him to take me now!

I KNOW!! It's like having sex with the husband,,only I didn't get to just lay there.

I now know why this thing makes you look slimmer.

You lose 10 pounds from just putting the damn thing on!!

It is now 56789

at 05:06 07/08/09

It's been a boring day!

It is now 456789

04:05:06 at 7/8/09

It is now 123456789

at 12:34:56 on 7/8/09

Palin for President!..or not!

"And though it's honorable for countless others to leave their positions for a higher calling and without finishing a term, of course we know by now, for some reason a different standard applies for the decisions I make."

Can someone remind me exactly who it was that didn't finish a term and then ran for President?

Love means never having to say "My Bad".

"My bad",,,,What happened to just saying "I'm sorry"?

Seriously people, when is it going to end? Was this phrase not popular 14 years ago when the movie "Clueless" came out? It made no sense then, it makes no sense now, and it made no sense when I had to memorize the damn thing in high school.

SONNET 112 CXII
1. Your love and pity doth the impression fill,
2. Which vulgar scandal stamped upon my brow;
3. For what care I who calls me well or ill,
4. So you o'er-green my bad, my good allow?
5. You are my all-the-world, and I must strive
6. To know my shames and praises from your tongue;
7. None else to me, nor I to none alive,
8. That my steeled sense or changes right or wrong.
9. In so profound abysm I throw all care
10. Of others' voices, that my adder's sense
11. To critic and to flatterer stopped are.
12. Mark how with my neglect I do dispense:
13. You are so strongly in my purpose bred,
14. That all the world besides methinks y'are dead.

Princess Protection Program Count

It's 86! 86 times the word princess is said!
86! I'm posting this in hopes of saving some
other mothers sanity!!

SC Governor Sanford admits affair!

As a congressman, Sanford voted in favor of three of four articles of impeachment against President Bill Clinton, citing the need for "moral legitimacy."

Dear Governor Sanford,
Let this be a lesson - People Who Live In Glass Houses Should Never Throw Stones!

Gotta Love Alex Sandwell Kliszynski

The Art of Alex Sandwell Kliszynski

Look!! Boobs!!

You Think PETA Knows About This?

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly.
I dunno why she swallowed that fly,
Perhaps she'll die.

A Regular Guy Growing Up with Autism

Four Barbie Thumbs Up! Loved It!