PMS? PMDD? or just PO'd?

Read in McCurtain Gazette:
*A man said he returned home after his girlfriend had been sentenced to prison Friday, only to find her mother destroying his home. He said the woman threw a piece of a dresser at him when he asked what she was doing. When an officer arrived, he found an end table in a tree, a chair on a car and many other items of furniture outside the home in the yard. The man's puppy was also missing from the home, he said. Malicious injury to property and burglary complaints were made against the 46-year-old Idabel woman. The damage was estimated at $1,400.

*Two domestic abuse in the presence of a minor child complaints were made against a 19-year-old woman after she assaulted her mother and another man, the fight stemming from the way a pot roast had been cooked. The suspect said her mother could not cook and after a short argument, pushed her mother and threw a soda on her. When another man tried to restrain the woman and calm her down, she swung at him.

PMS?

*A 24-year-old Idabel woman is facing charges after spitting and scratching several police officers while being arrested. The officer pulled the woman over after he had to swerve to avoid being hit by her car. As the officer was talking to to the driver, another car pulled up and three women got out. One of the women in the group said she was the owner of the car. As the officer was talking to the woman he noticed a group of seven women approaching him from behind. The group of seven women formed around the 24 year old woman when police told her she was under arrest. Before the officers could get to the patrol car and put the suspect inside, the group of women ran over and got between the officers and the patrol car. After the officers got the women to move they put the suspect in the patrol car. On the way to the jail, the suspect cursed and spit at the officer. Once inside the jail the woman spit on the face of one office and scratched the face of another before being placed in the restraint chair.

*A 41-yr-old Idabel woman was arrested for robbing 3 convenience stores. The woman was tasered in the buttocks after becoming aggressive with officers. She was arrested on two counts of robbery by force or fear and an outstanding warrant

* A Garvin woman was arrested for assaulting her husband. The victim said he tried to wake the woman up for church and after she said she wasn't going, she began hitting him. She then followed him out the front door while threatening to kill him with a pistol. She then hit him in the head with a can opener. Deputies arrested the woman, who said the man had been hateful to her after she said she wasn't going to church.

* Officers were called to a domestic disturbance south of Broken Bow. The woman said her boyfriend came home drunk and she told him to stop drinking. When she tried to pour out his beer, he head-butted her, so she scratched his arm. The man said the woman tore off his necklace and began choking him. He showed officers marks consistent with the claim.

She's Got Legs!

Read in The McCurtain Gazette:
That a woman told Idabel police a former tenant in one of her rent houses had altered her deposit check by drawing legs on it...uh? Seems the tenant moved out and requested her $200 deposit back, but she had prorated the amount from the time she had lived in the home in November. she said the check was for $160. After writing the check the former tenant called the woman, saying the amount should have been for $500 not $160. The rent house owner later received a return on the check from her bank. Seems the suspect had drawn legs on the number 1 in $160 to make the amount $460. She had also written four over one in one hundred. Now the 39-year-old woman is facing a complaint of uttering a forged instrument.

She hit who?

McCurtain Gazette:
A woman who is four months pregnant told Idabel police another woman hit him while she was waiting in her car Monday.
The victim said an 18-year-old woman she has had problems with in the past reached into her car and pulled her hair.
The woman said she hit the suspect to protect herself.

Is it just me, or does something seem wrong with this story?

Dead Deer Recipe

If your one of those women that likes to hunt (like me and Sarah Palin)
and your wondering.."What do I do with a dead deer?"


Here's one of my favorite dead deer recipes:
2 pounds of backstrap (dead deer loin)
1 quart of apple cider
1 to 1 1/2 pounds thick sliced bacon
2 - 12 ounce bottles of barbecue sauce

Cut dead deer into 2 inch chunks.
Put chunks of dead deer into a shallow baking dish.
Pour enough apple cider to cover dead deer chunks.
Cover dead deer and gross friends out by putting it in your refrigerator for 2 hours.
Remove from refrigerator after 2 hours (of listening to "I can't believe you killed Bambi")
Pat dead deer dry.
Throw away apple cider. (or serve it to your girlfriends that won't shut up saying "I can't believe you shot and skinned Bambi")
Put dead deer back in baking dish.
Pour BBQ sauce over the dead deer chunks.
Cover and put back in fridge for 2 more hours.
Remove dead deer from fridge and let sit 30 minutes or until it is no longer chilled.
Pre-heat outdoor grill (High Heat, I like charcoal)
Wrap each chunk of dead deer in sliced bacon and secure with toothpicks.
Brush grill with olive oil when grill is hot.
Place dead deer on grill, make sure chunks not touching.
Bacon is gonna make flames from the grease, so be careful.
Piss off your friends by saying "Burn Bambi Burn"
Grill and turn, grill and turn.
Bout 15 to 30 minutes...you've grilled before, you'll know when it's done.
Serve and listen to your girlfriends tell you how good Bambi is.

Arresting Honesty

Idabel police arrested a 35 year old woman after seeing her vehicle go left of center. The surprisingly honest woman admitted to drinking alcohol and taking Xanax. She also admitted to having a suspended driver's license and an outstanding felony warrant.

A 31 year old Holly Creek man was arrested after admitting to kicking his ex-wife with a steel toe boot. The man said the only reason he kicked the woman was because she started packing his stuff.

An Idabel man was arrested for public intoxication and resisting arrest after running from officers. After smelling alcohol, the officer asked the man if he had been drinking, and he replied, "Vodka.....a lot".

It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar. Jerome K. Jerome

Idabel Licks

McCurtain Daily Gazette- Two Idabel women made simple assault complaints against each other after admitting to "exchanging words and licks". One woman said the other cursed her and then was waiting at her mother-in-law's house when she arrived.

Oh my, there's just so many places we could go with this story...but we won't...but we could.

Daughter framed by mom

McCurtain Gazette-
A 51-year-old woman was arrested Wednesday after throwing a picture at her daughter and hitting her with a pair of pliers. The daughter said her mother asked to give her a pain pill and got upset when she would not. She grabbed a picture from the wall and threw it at her, then hit her twice with a pair of pliers, cutting her arms. The 51 year-old was arrested for domestic assault and battery.

*I'm thinkin'.....reverse deja vu*

Misty Tucker Not Guilty!

After being out for 75 minutes, the 11 woman, one man jury found Misty Tucker not guilty of either murder or manslaughter in the July 14, 2007 shooting death of Brian C. Joiner.

Mom framed by daughter!

McCurtain Gazette-

A woman was cited for disturbing the peace after fighting with her 16 year old daughter Wednesday. Neighbors called police after hearing the two fighting loudly. The girl said she and her mother started fighting when a store wouldn't cash her Social Security check. When the girl tried to take her mother's truck to the bank, she said her mother acted like she was going to hurt her, so she hit her with a picture frame. Both then began hitting each other, she said. Neither would give a statement to police.

Sibling Rivalry

McCurtain Daily Gazette- A canoe trip turned violent Saturday as a brother and sister began fighting on Mountain Fork River. The woman said she and her brother were arguing after tipping over in their canoe. The man then pushed her down in swift water, causing her to hit several rocks. When she finally got up, she said he punched her several times in the face. She made an assault complaint against her 35 year old brother.

Innocent Fishing Pole Shot!

Read this in the McCurtain Daily Gazette:
MAN FIRES ON FISHING POLE WITH A SHOTGUN! Sheriff's officers arrested a man in the Oak Hill Community early today after he allegedly beat his wife with a shower rod and shot her fishing pole with a shotgun. The woman said she went to bed early wednesday night because she planned to wake up and go fishing early today. Her husband came home drunk and wouldn't let her sleep, so she decided to wake up and go fishing. When her husband learned of her plans, he took her fishing pole behind the house and shoot it with his shotgun. Afterward, he said "Your fishing pole is waiting on you." The victim told officers she drove to Wal-Mart, bought a new phone and returned home. When she arrived, the man grabbed her cell phone and saw she had called someone he didn't like. She said he threw her against the bathroom wall grabbed the metal shower rod and hit her over the head with it. He then threw the rod at her before throwing her out of the bathroom. Deputies, said the woman had scratches and bruising on her neck, arms and legs. As officers arrested the 35 year old Broken Bow man, he admitted to fighting with the woman, but said it was only verbal.

*I can't help but wonder..... is the fishing pole alright?*