Need Luck for the New Year?

Then the first meal you should eat is blacked eyed peas, rice, collard greens and cornbread. Peas are for prosperity, rice for riches and collard greens symbolize paper money.
And the cornbread? It's not for anything..it just tastes good.

They say if you eat 365 peas, it'll guarantee you good luck each day of the new year. If your lazy and don't feel like counting out peas, then eat about 3 pots.. that should cover your butt all year.

Hoppin John & Collard Greens

1 cup dried black-eyed peas.. sort and rinse
1 medium onion.. chopped
1 clove garlic.. minced
1 smoked ham hock..or bacon if your not a ham hock kinda person
2 bundles of fresh collard greens..wash and chopped
1 tablespoon red pepper flakes
1 14-ounce can of chopped tomatoes..drained
5 cups of water..or as much as you need to cover
1 cup long-grain white rice..uncooked
Some Salt and pepper

Put the peas in a pot, cover with water, bring to a boil. Boil 2 minutes, reduce heat, simmer one hour. Drain.

If your using bacon instead of ham hock, fry the pieces first, drain on paper towels to remove the fat(why can't we drain our thighs on paper towels to remove the fat?).

Put all ingredients in slow cooker, except rice, not the rice, no rice yet!
Turn to high for five hours.
Now you can stir in the rice and cook one more hour.
If your using a ham hock.. remove the meat from bone and put meat only in pot.
Season with salt and pepper.
Serve hot with corn bread...cause it tastes good.

Wishing you prosperity, riches, paper money... and good cornbread for 2009.

Christmas Spam!

A certain person on this blog considers Spam a party food...it's not!
I'm only posting her recipe because she's down right now...not because I like it!

1 16-ounce can Spam
1/4 cup yellow mustard
1/4 cup Miracle Whip
1/4 cup Cheez-Whiz
1 quart cooking oil

Fill fondue pot with cooking oil.

While this is heating to the proper
temperature, open the can of Spam.

Carefully wipe off the gelatin. (this part scares me)

Cut into bite size pieces.

Spear on to fondue forks and deep
fry until golden brown.

Dip into mustard, Miracle Whip, or
melted Cheez-Whiz or dip into all three!

Dead Deer Recipe

If your one of those women that likes to hunt (like me and Sarah Palin)
and your wondering.."What do I do with a dead deer?"


Here's one of my favorite dead deer recipes:
2 pounds of backstrap (dead deer loin)
1 quart of apple cider
1 to 1 1/2 pounds thick sliced bacon
2 - 12 ounce bottles of barbecue sauce

Cut dead deer into 2 inch chunks.
Put chunks of dead deer into a shallow baking dish.
Pour enough apple cider to cover dead deer chunks.
Cover dead deer and gross friends out by putting it in your refrigerator for 2 hours.
Remove from refrigerator after 2 hours (of listening to "I can't believe you killed Bambi")
Pat dead deer dry.
Throw away apple cider. (or serve it to your girlfriends that won't shut up saying "I can't believe you shot and skinned Bambi")
Put dead deer back in baking dish.
Pour BBQ sauce over the dead deer chunks.
Cover and put back in fridge for 2 more hours.
Remove dead deer from fridge and let sit 30 minutes or until it is no longer chilled.
Pre-heat outdoor grill (High Heat, I like charcoal)
Wrap each chunk of dead deer in sliced bacon and secure with toothpicks.
Brush grill with olive oil when grill is hot.
Place dead deer on grill, make sure chunks not touching.
Bacon is gonna make flames from the grease, so be careful.
Piss off your friends by saying "Burn Bambi Burn"
Grill and turn, grill and turn.
Bout 15 to 30 minutes...you've grilled before, you'll know when it's done.
Serve and listen to your girlfriends tell you how good Bambi is.